So I figure there's a 44% chance that drinking will wind up killing me. Bear in mind now, that this is data formulated through an unbiased look at my current trajectory. It's subject to change. I've been crunching the numbers... Read more
In Defense of Hangovers Part 1: There’s about a 44% chance that this drinking stuff is gonna kill me
So anyway, I was in a good mood when I got home from the south and I was tired from all the nothing and drinking I'd been doing on vacation but it was afternoon and so I went to that bachelor party anyway. It was on the river and I was late... Read more...
A few years ago I was all mixed up. It was July and Minneapolis was so hot and muggy and sun-drunk that you had to sleep nude and fans were useless unless you taped one to your body and me and my penis were both scared of doing that so we talked... Read more...
Under the influence, I am a pronounced and skilled escapist. I'll be the first to admit this. To most, unannounced departure is impolite, reckless, cowardly even. But to me, and perhaps a small, dashing, devil-may-care attituded minority... Read more
Fuck people who don’t drink very much but say they do. I am cool with lots of people who don’t drink. I am cool with Muslims, and former alcoholics. I am cool with people who will smoke crack if they start drinking again. Don’t Drink! Former... Read more
Now it’s morning and beautiful tropical kaleidoscopic sunrays are shooting into the kitchen and I’m awake from the heat and everything smells weird. That sour smell of sweat and dirt and stale air. The fan broke sometime in the night and I’ve... Read more
I’m in my room reading the bible, A.K.A. Lester Bangs, and I’m laughing to myself all sad-like and drinking this big fortified beer I found called Bear Beer, from Holland, 7.5%! Cha-ching! Drunk and lonely, listening to Grizzly Bear. (What?... Read more
Four days into French Guiana and my new Cayenne life, I’m wandering around a lofty deserted mall full of expensive out of fashion clothes and competing cell phone vendors. This building was constructed in dreamy anticipation of an upper middle... Read more