Yoyo,
I’m feeling awesome today.
I woke up at 1:30 p.m. In that mysterious good mood because I slept through my hangover and was dreaming of fellatio. No shaving cause I got no butter for my face. I’m listening to Warren Zevon as I write this: things are going good.
” I saw a werewolf with a chinese menu in his hand!”
I don’t have any underwear.
I just took a shower and it isn’t working really. I’m a moist man. But enough sex talk, we gotta get into the chewy center of this. I will be going out on a new feature expedition for Drunken Suitcase: a little game I like to call “Last Saturday on Earth” Wherein I try to jam as much drunken-singalongy-stumblo-laughing-moon howl as I can in one sun up-sun-down-sun up period.
On the agenda for tonight:
7:30 p.m. Beer bike to Hell’s kitchen.
7:45-8:45 p.m. Watchin’ Javier Matos and the Innocent Sons, drinkin bourbon, meet people and start sexting
-Did I mention I’m an expert sexter? Cause I am.
8:45 p.m. Beer bike while sexting as I make my way to the Red Stag Block Party to watch E.L.nO purportedly the “second best E.L.O. cover band in the Twin Cities.
(Side note: until about a minute ago I was pumped up because I thought E.L.O. was E.M.F. that band that sings “You’re Unbelievable…..OOOOOOOOOH *Fuck the milk*)
*what does the guy say in that song right after the OOOOOOOH?
Now that I know who E.L.O. is I am still excited, even though I was kinda more excited for an E.M.F. cover band.
9:45 p.m. Try to meet up with the “No Hater Rolling Dance Super Bike Mega Party” as they finish up their annual dance party bike ride…Try to make-out and grind up on sweaty bikers. Probably sext some more…
10:00 p.m. Beer-bike by the West Bank Music Festival to see if anything crazy is happening…Maybe take shots of tequila at Palmers…
10:30 p.m. Watch Neutral Uke Hotel cover “In The Aeroplane Over The Sea” with a ukulele in sing-along fashion. The sexting will probably get a lot more deep and meaningful during this time…
I actually saw these guys filming on the Van Cleve foot bridge today with those folks from MPLS TV…Doing “Aeroplane” with two members of “Communist Daughter.” Pretty good stuff.
I’m cracking beer one now.
My partners in crime tonight will be one Wade Framingham and the ever beautiful Lecky Bang.
See you soon…Don’t pee the bed.
