I’m feeling awesome today.
I woke up at 1:30 p.m. In that mysterious good mood because I slept through my hangover and was dreaming of fellatio. No shaving cause I got no butter for my face. I’m listening to Warren Zevon as I write this: things are going good.
” I saw a werewolf with a chinese menu in his hand!”
I don’t have any underwear.
I just took a shower and it isn’t working really. I’m a moist man. But enough sex talk, we gotta get into the chewy center of this. I will be going out on a new feature expedition for Drunken Suitcase: a little game I like to call “Last Saturday on Earth” Wherein I try to jam as much drunken-singalongy-stumblo-laughing-moon howl as I can in one sun up-sun-down-sun up period.
On the agenda for tonight:
7:30 p.m. Beer bike to Hell’s kitchen.
7:45-8:45 p.m. Watchin’ Javier Matos and the Innocent Sons, drinkin bourbon, meet people and start sexting
-Did I mention I’m an expert sexter? Cause I am.
(Side note: until about a minute ago I was pumped up because I thought E.L.O. was E.M.F. that band that sings “You’re Unbelievable…..OOOOOOOOOH *Fuck the milk*)
*what does the guy say in that song right after the OOOOOOOH?
Now that I know who E.L.O. is I am still excited, even though I was kinda more excited for an E.M.F. cover band.
9:45 p.m. Try to meet up with the “No Hater Rolling Dance Super Bike Mega Party” as they finish up their annual dance party bike ride…Try to make-out and grind up on sweaty bikers. Probably sext some more…
I’m cracking beer one now.
See you soon…Don’t pee the bed.